3.
Marilyn, Honolulu, Hawaii / Clothing entrepreneur
(2004)
I first encountered Andrew Lakey and his artwork in
Ventura, California in 2002 after hearing that he’d
be there creating energy drawings. Previously, I hadn’t
heard of Andrew , but I was very familiar with the concept
of these works. I commissioned him to create a drawing
for my collection — somehow, I just knew it
would be a wonderful experience, an opportunity that
I couldn’t miss.
As I waited to meet
Andrew in the gallery displaying his paintings, I felt
drawn to the passivity, the ambience of the work.
Then I felt an awareness of being carried, lifted
into what felt like a higher state of consciousness.
The experience left me with an aspiration to remain
close to these paintings. I didn't want to leave,
and to this day I can’t recall another time
when I felt quite that content.
After a brief introduction,
Andrew began to create my drawing, and we started to
talk. I was simply astonished that he could work so
quickly and diligently, yet remain focused on our
conversation. He asked me personal questions, and
also about my life in general, and as our discussion
grew, I suddenly found myself — an extremely
private individual — revealing particulars that
I don't normally share. I continued on, feeling confident
in a relaxed state of knowing that this man could
be trusted.
I conveyed private
matters regarding my daughter that had occurred 44
years earlier. Back then, I had sadly made the decision
to relinquish her for adoption. One day, though, I
felt a compulsion to find my daughter, and I began
to investigate. My anxious search had extended over
the course of many years, during which time I’d
faced tremendous
adversities, and many painful disappointments. Through
my focused commitment, though, at the time I met Andrew ,
I’d come to a point where I had some of the
facts I’d been seeking for so long. I was convinced
that what I’d learned would quickly lead me
to my daughter — finally, the pathway to meeting
her was inches away.
It was complicated,
because I was living in a state that had stringent
laws prohibiting access to information with regards
to reuniting birth parents with an adoptee. I discussed
this impediment with Andrew , and also revealed to him
deep fears that I had which were making me hesitant
about moving forward, even as close as I was to my
goal. I was frightened of taking that last crucial
step towards an essential connection with my daughter
– whom I loved and missed immensely —
because I dreaded the pain of rejection. I remember
how it surprised me deeply that I would, and could,
be so open in such a manner. I’d had no plans
of ever discussing this delicate part of my life story
with anyone, let alone with a total stranger, yet
I further shared, in great detail, my dilemma about
pursuing the unknown. Should I move ahead with this
or not? All of a sudden, without any warning, Andrew said with great force and enthusiasm, “You HAVE
to go! She is waiting for you, and she wants to see
you! Go immediately. You should go right now!”
And he added, “I’ll go with you!”
I was just flabbergasted!
His unexpected burst of words filled my entire being
with an incredible surge of power. This intense expression
of support from someone I’d just met overtook
me, and gave me the courage and conviction I needed
to take the crucial next step. I had the sensation
that a mysterious force was occurring within me, and
it felt like the ultimate confirmation of what I’d
been longing for, especially when Andrew said, “I’ll
go with you!” Those words were the driving force
that placed me in fifth gear. I was determined —
I had to go for it! When I responded to Andrew , I of
course said, ‘You can't go with me – there
are people here who have been waiting to see you,
and it’s so far away.’ Persistent and
compelling, Andrew said, “Well, go as soon as
you can. Don't wait! And let me know if you need help.
I’ll call you next week to see if you followed
through.” ‘Okay,’ I said, and walked
out of the gallery knowing, without a shadow of a
doubt, that Andrew was totally right. I was going to
find my daughter!
The information I had
previously obtained did in fact pay off. I was able
to connect with my daughter’s brother and his
wife, and their understanding and compassion gave
me the opportunity to finally be with her. Everything
happened so swiftly and smoothly — it felt like
absolute perfect timing, perfect order…perfect
divine order! Shortly after our reunion, I excitedly
informed Andrew of what had happened, and thanked him
for giving me strength, and the words, that I had
needed to do what I should have done from the start.
My daughter and I now
share a wonderful, loving relationship. I have also
gained the love of a new family that includes my son-in-law,
my daughter's brother and his wife, and two beautiful
grandchildren — one is five years old, and the
other was born several months ago! Their laughter
and smiles continue to fill my days with joy and happiness.
We have recently spent time together in Hawaii and
Maui — my daughter and I were both born in Hawaii,
so it was delightful to vacation there and truly bond
for the first time. There will be more events coming
up, more people to meet, and more holidays to share.
Having my daughter
in my life has healed my heart, which, despite an
otherwise successful life, had suffered for 44 years.
The fears that I carried of the past no longer exist,
and this newfound existence is extraordinarily superb!
I truly believe that I wouldn’t have had the
courage to follow through with my quest without the
impact that Andrew had on me on that very special day.
Had it not been for that encounter, who knows how
much longer it would have taken me to find my daughter,
or if indeed I ever would have.
Today, my advice to
other birth parents searching for children they gave
up would be, ‘Take that chance! Do as Andrew told
me when we first met — go and find them now!
They are waiting for you!’ Through my long search
and years of experience, I’ve learned that the
children really do want to know who their parents
are, and find out where they came from. They, too,
are often compelled by a desire to know the truth
that never goes away.
I think that even if
my daughter had said, “No, I don't want to have
a relationship with you,” it still would have
been the right thing to do. At least I would have
had some resolution, and she would know who I am.
Yes, it’s frightening to go into the unknown,
and many situations don’t have the outcome you’d
envisioned — but many times, the outcome exceeds
what you could have hoped for. Laws regarding access
to information relevant to these searches vary from
state to state, and it can be a challenging process.
The most important thing that I can recommend in getting
through it all is to follow your heart.
Be inspired by the
courage and insight that Andrew helped me to find. Take
the chance, and perhaps you’ll arrive at your
very own perfect order — Perfect Divine Order!
2004
